I wasn't planning on posting again this week, but this is just too good...
Last night I was sitting on the couch watching a DVR recording of America's Funniest Home Videos with my five-year-old son. Or rather, I was watching AFV while my son bounced around the couch like a jumping bean. A very loud jumping bean.
"Wow, you're wound up," I said, checking the clock. It was around 8pm, edging on bedtime. "Why don't you run three laps around the couch and burn some of that energy off?"
He thought that was a great idea, so he took off. I counted each time he passed between me and the TV screen. "One...two...three..."
Oh, he didn't stop there. He wasn't done by a long shot. "Four...five...six..." He asked if this would make him better at basketball. I assured him it would.
"Seven...eight...nine...ten..." I won't go through every number, because trust me, it's boring as hell. I will give you some general recaps, however, so you can get the sense of how this little exercise progressed:
Laps 45-55: He added the dining room and kitchen. I still only counted a lap when he passed between me and the TV screen, though. After ten extended laps he went back to circling the couch.
Lap 70- He asked if his basketball game would be over. I said it would be pretty close.
Lap 75- He told me he would go to 101.
Lap 101- Still going strong. He asked me if running would help build up his Magneto powers. I said I didn't know, but encouraged him to try it out and see.
Lap 125- I was cracking up, and reminded him that I only asked him to run three laps. He asked me not to laugh. Then he clarified that I could laugh at the TV, just not at him.
Lap 150- AFV was over, and I noted that surely his basketball game would be over too. He did not object to being called Shirley. Must work on this.
Lap 212- He started walking.
Lap 251- It was 9:01 pm and my wife came in to admonish me for not sending him up to bed already. I made him stop and sent him up to bed, but I'm pretty sure he was dead-set on clearing 300 if we would have let him.