And the Winner is...

My son, and we are very proud of him.  Now if we could find out what the contest was all about we'd be even more proud.  Unfortunately, getting your kids to provide details about school can be as eventful as asking your fish to describe the taste of water.

So here's what happened:

I was a guest reader for my son's kindergarten class last week.  I brought DON'T LET THE PIGEON DRIVE THE BUS from our home library, and it was such a hit that we followed up DON'T LET THE PIGEON STAY UP LATE from the classroom bookshelf.  There was a brief intermission where each child raised their hand to tell me how late they stayed up (NOTE: Apparently Star Wars airs on Fridays and many parents extend the standard 8:30 bedtime to 9:00.  Must look into this.  Also, several stayed up until midnight on New Years and one little liar stayed up all the way until morning uh-huh really she did.)

When I finished with the second book it was time for the kids to get ready for dismissal, and I decided to drive my kids home instead of having them take the bus because that's the kind of Dad I am.  We gathered his things and went off to another classroom to get my other son.

When we got there my older son's second-grade teacher saw my kindergartner and said, "It's nice to meet you, congratulations on your Trail Blazer award.  We heard your name on the announcements."

I was too busy beaming with pride to notice if he said "thank you" so I'll just assume he did.

On a side note, when I signed the kids out at the office, the administrative staff complimented me on the interactive reading.  My younger son's kindergarten classroom is closest to the office, and the door was open so they could all hear two dozen tiny voices shout "NO" over and over again.  The Pigeon books rock!

When we got to my car I asked a few questions about the award.  The answers were as thin as the air.  Later that evening I asked my wife, and she was totally in the dark.  She asked the boys some more questions, and by then they were sick of talking about it.  We have yet to determine:

- Why he got the award.  From what we could surmise, he was nice to people.
- When he got the award.  It wasn't that day.  We are certain it was this school year, and confident it was in 2010 (but not positive).
- Who else got the award.
- What else comes with the award, other than the principal saying his name in the morning announcements. 

For all I know it was a Major Award, falling someplace between the Nobel, Pulitzer, and that leg lamp from A Christmas Story...

"Fra-gee-lay.  It must be Italian..."

This is a Multi-Award Winning Publication

It seems I have earned the respect and admiration of a few readers of this humble blog. How the hell that happened I have no idea. Stark cynicism must have climbed in value since the last time I checked. But who am I to deny myself the benefits of free publicity?

So I will momentarily shed my humble ego (NOTE: WTF? Humble? You expect any of us to believe that?) and accept these two prestigious awards that some random bloggers made up. (NOTE: is it a Freudian slip that I almost typed boogers just now instead of bloggers?)

First, the Kreativ Blogger Award:


One cannot just claim this coveted prize without completing a series of Herculean tasks. Really, Herculean? Surely you jest! Buy nay, as you read through the list of duties (NOTE: Ha ha! He said "doodie") you will see what a challenge each one is...

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.

I received this nomination several days ago, and I don't remember who it was from and I'm too lazy to look it up right now. Really the first nomination was from Bridget, but she didn't really nominate me, just emailed me that she wanted to nominate me but was afraid that I would do with the nomination what I am doing right now, i.e. using it to fuel my sarcasm. Then Laura nominated me. And I got another nomination from Vodka Logic. So thanks to all of you!

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

I didn't place it, I pasted it. I hope this does not disqualify me.

3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.

Crap. Now I have to do the research I avoided on task number one. Ok, research done, it was Laura Martone.

4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.

4.1 I am a heathen. But regular readers know that already.
4.2 I play bass and guitar, and I write songs and lyrics.
4.3 I try to sing, but I'm not good at it. If you are pretty drunk, I'm good enough that you probably won't mind, though.
4.4 I had a normal, well-adjusted childhood with friends and a loving family, but was still a basket-case as a teenager.
4.5 I am an introverted extrovert. I like attention, but only when I am alone in the center of it. I hate being in a crowd, and I am a shitty conversationalist at parties. Small talk and I have never gotten on well.
4.6 This is like slaying the hydra, all these things about me are like the hydra's heads, as soon as I tick off one interesting thing, another one pops up in its place. I told you this was Herculean.
4.7 I'm really humble (NOTE: Bullsh!t.)

5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.

These are in alphabetical order by author. To avoid creating what Microsoft Excel would call a "circular reference" I did not nominate those who nominated me (and/or considered nominating me):

5.1 D. Michael Olive, DMichaelOlive
5.2 Lady Glamis, The Innocent Flower
5.3 Laurel, Unhinged...Seriously
5.4 Mira, Come in Character
5.5 Penney, The Sometimes Almost Fictional Life of Penney
5.6 Tricia J. O'Brien, Talespinning
5.7 VodkaMom, VodkaMom

6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.

See 5.1 through 5.7.

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

Holy f&%*ing s^!# this is taking forever.



Vodka Logic nominated me for this one, and I like it better because the logo is not frilly and girly and the sub-tasks are in quantities of 5's and not 7's.

**Each Superior Scribbler I name today must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

No rule saying I can't just copy and paste the first 5 from the other award. Sorry numbers 6 and 7, no disrespect. The alphabet doesn't favor you.

5.1 D. Michael Olive, DMichaelOlive
5.2 Lady Glamis, The Innocent Flower
5.3 Laurel, Unhinged...Seriously
5.4 Mira, Come in Character
5.5 Penney, The Sometimes Almost Fictional Life of Penney


**Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

See above, under the logo.

**Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to this post, which explains The Award.

See above, above the link mentioned above.

**Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor.

How could I not participate when the name is as cute as "Mr. Linky List"?

**Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

This I refuse to do. Eat me.