Thursday, August 29, 2013

My Unprofessional Bio

Rick Daley is known in the contact center industry for taking names and kicking ass, although not necessarily in that order.  His qualifications as a certified Call Center Ninja have nothing to do with his skills with weaponry, such as the katana and the throwing star (a proficiency that is best described as “lethal”), but rather with his uncanny ability to understand the problems that lesser people create, and to implement solutions to those problems with an efficiency that makes Seal Team Six look like a bunch of pussies.  While his genius is too intense to fully train an underling in the full breadth and scope of his expertise, his minions get smarter just by standing near him. 

Daley once created a multi-billion dollar global corporation in a single day, using nothing but a toothpick and duct tape.  He gave the money to charity and cured world hunger.  While this may have just been a dream, it is important to Daley because he believes in it, and therefore so should you.

His motto, “Buy from me or else,” should not be taken as a threat, even though that’s exactly what it is.  Even though he seems mild-mannered, the last person who pissed him off is still unaccounted for, and is likely to remain as such.  That being said, you should always provide Daley with up-to-date and accurate information, no matter how bad the tidings; not once has he killed the messenger (at least not that he will publicly admit).

His education stems from a life much more interesting and complex than your own, or than that of any author of any book ever, so there is no degree available that supersedes his experience.

2 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That is awesome! Anytime you can claim to be a Ninja, do it.
And I'll buy whatever you are selling.

Anne Gallagher said...

That is truly fantastic. You should put that in the back of your next book.