This just in...
WASHINGTON, D.C. (August 8, 2012) – Political discourse in the US took a highly anticipated turn and devolved into a childish name-calling contest.
It all started when the Obama camp slammed Mitt Romney, calling him a “Doodyhead.” The Romney campaign, in retaliation, accused the president of having cooties since the third grade. Fact-checking sources were not able to confirm or deny the latter accusation, as Obama’s elementary school records are sealed.
“I think Obama should release his grade-school files to prove that the accusation is false,” said Rush Limbaugh. “Until he does that, we’ll all just have to assume that he has the cooties, and anyone whose hand he shakes on the campaign trail will get them, too.”
David Axelrod, Obama’s chief strategist, condemned the allegations in the strongest possible terms, saying, “It’s f&*%ing bull*&^#.” He went further to explain the Romney’s mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house. He ended his statement with, “Neener, neener!”
Sarah Palin, professional Attention Whore, fired back, accusing the president of actually being born with cooties, and again calling for a release of Obama’s birth records. Harry Reid retaliated, quoting a secret source who confirms that on Romney’s past tax returns, he did in fact list his occupation as “Doodyhead.”
Regardless of the president’s health or the actual size of Romney’s mother, this election is certainly shaping up to be a game-changer in American politics.
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Understanding the Left
I have a friend who is a full-fledged conservative of the highest degree, and we recently discussed the intentions of the left vs. the right. His take, and indeed the stance assumed by many on the right, is that the left is attempting a fascist coup and is aiming to destroy America. As an independent, I disagree.
Listening to any ideologue discuss how politics affect the nation is like listening to a fish in a bowl describing the room in which the tank sits; the environment of the bowl warps the perspective of the observing fish. Some things may seem larger or smaller than they actually are; other things are reflections of objects in the tank and do not actually exist in the room itself.
If conservatism involves less government and the basic fiscal responsibility to spend within reach of revenues, fine. I get that and I agree whole-heartedly. The Democrats have little-to-no sense of fiscal responsibility, but the right misjudges their intentions and vilifies them. Most that could carry the label “Liberal” are actually quite charitable at heart, perhaps to a fault, and they want to use the resources of government to administer what they see to be charitable acts, such as financial assistance to the poor, healthcare for the sick, and protection from oppressors (both foreign and domestic). I see the primary disagreement between right and left being that these charitable acts should not be the responsibility of the government, not that these intentions are inherently evil, although the pundits may disagree from within the fishbowls.
In regard to the lattermost point regarding protection against oppressions, particularly domestic, the left sees a great potential for business owners to be oppressive to their workers. It is true that they call for government regulation of business in hopes of preventing such oppression, for they fear those with money will quickly lose moral judgment in pursuit of more capital. Government’s regulation of business for the protection of workers goes back to the abolition of slavery. I would certainly hope we can all agree that the federal government was justified in making laws deeming slavery illegal, and while it certainly impacted the profitability of slave owners, the rights of those workers were deserving of federal protection.
Going back to the overdeveloped sense of charity that “Liberals” are affected by, I see a great irony in the number of Christians who align themselves with the GOP from a moral standpoint. It seems to me that Jesus would have been in favor of doing all that was possible to clothe and feed the poor and heal the sick; that Jesus would not be in favor of preemptive military strikes; that Jesus would accept a homosexual as a person deserving of love and respect. From my understanding of Jesus’ actions, he demonstrated more “Liberal” qualities than conservative. He washed the feet of tax collectors, he made company with whores and beggars, he protected the adultress by inviting one without sin to cast the first stone, he espoused charity and urged his followers to do away with all their worldly possessions, he eschewed wealth; most importantly, he called on others to follow in his footsteps. These are virtues pursued by “Liberals” who are trying to protect their fellow man and the earth we all share. They are Christian in nature.
Speaking of protecting the earth, environmental laws do serve a purpose: they keep people from shitting upstream of others. Present bickering over climate change and pollution is not about a fascist takeover of the world, it is an attempt to define what constitutes shit, and where the boundaries of the stream are. Those downstream say “Stop shitting in my water supply” while those upstream say “Too bad, I can’t afford to build an outhouse.”
And then there’s perhaps the most divisive issue in all politics: abortion. It seems to me that the right’s stance on abortion has allowed all logic and reason to be swallowed by blind dogma that states no abortion should be allowed, ever, under any circumstance. Pro-choice does not entail the merciless slaughter of infants. If a woman were to be raped and impregnated, I think she should be entitled to an abortion and should not be forced to carry that baby to term. If pregnancy complications threaten the life of the mother of two, I think she should be able to have an abortion and save her life, for her two children and husband are better off with a mother and wife than a sibling / third child. If a father rapes and impregnates his daughter she should not be forced into a back-alley with a coat hanger in order to keep that child from entering the world. However, I do not think abortions should be used as a basic means of birth control, and late-term abortions should only be allowed in the event of a life-saving decision on the mother’s behalf. There can be a middle ground.
The right seems to have unwavering faith that businesses will be just and moral and need no regulations, but strives to regulate morality on the individual level. They claim the fascist left wants to re-form the constitution, but the right has its own changes it wants to make, such as a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. The heart of gay marriage really boils down to tax benefits and advantages gained from being able to file jointly; normally the right is all for lessening a tax burden, but not when it’s just for a couple of fags, I guess. Homosexuality is not new. It is neither created nor expanded by gay marriage. Two gay people getting married does absolutely nothing to affect the sanctity of my marriage. It is not an act of war on marriage, as many right-wing pundits claim. Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh have done more to deface the sanctity of marriage with their infidelity and multiple divorces than the two ladies who live together three houses down from me, yet Rush and Newt are idolized by a large faction of the right.
Then there’s waterboarding, which is another divisive topic between right and left. There are two angles to the argument: whether or not it is torture, and whether or not it is effective. I can’t speak to the first directly, but I do take credence in John McCain’s view that waterboarding is torture; here is a man who has truly been tortured, he has a valid perspective. I doubt waterboarding’s effectiveness as an interrogation technique. I bet if you waterboarded Dick Cheney or George Bush long enough you would get them to confess that 9/11 was an inside job (NOTE: I do not believe 9/11 was an inside job, I do believe people will say anything to stop being tortured).
I do not condone the voices of the far left. I am glad Keith Olbermann was fired from MSNBC and from Current. While I think Rush Limbaugh is a selfish man with very little moral value, I do not think he is the “Worst Person in the World” and think that by attempting to classify him as such, one downplays the truly horrible acts that occur every day. Likewise, to liken the left to a rising Nazi party belittles the horror of the Holocaust, and to associate the left with Nazism is to imply the left is trying to rise up to take over the world and engage in mass genocide—a Fourth Reich, so to speak—which is simply ludicrous. The left—who wants to feed and educate the poor, to heal the sick, to abolish the death penalty, to protect the environment—is not the party of death. They are more pro-life than many foes of abortion.
I’ll conclude by saying that while this rant was largely focused on the right, the left are equal in their use of deplorable tactics, and they also set party lines based on rigid dogma requiring unwavering support on all fronts. Both sides have a single, primary goal: to destroy the other party. There is no intent to fix, to heal, to reconcile. Both sides have adopted the stance that “it’s my way and fuck yourself while you’re at it.” Sadly, the majority of Americans, who are just trying to live day-to-day, will be the ones most affected by this fight, and not in a good way.
PS I won’t defriend you if you comment sharing a different viewpoint. I value the ability to debate issues in a rational manner.
Listening to any ideologue discuss how politics affect the nation is like listening to a fish in a bowl describing the room in which the tank sits; the environment of the bowl warps the perspective of the observing fish. Some things may seem larger or smaller than they actually are; other things are reflections of objects in the tank and do not actually exist in the room itself.
If conservatism involves less government and the basic fiscal responsibility to spend within reach of revenues, fine. I get that and I agree whole-heartedly. The Democrats have little-to-no sense of fiscal responsibility, but the right misjudges their intentions and vilifies them. Most that could carry the label “Liberal” are actually quite charitable at heart, perhaps to a fault, and they want to use the resources of government to administer what they see to be charitable acts, such as financial assistance to the poor, healthcare for the sick, and protection from oppressors (both foreign and domestic). I see the primary disagreement between right and left being that these charitable acts should not be the responsibility of the government, not that these intentions are inherently evil, although the pundits may disagree from within the fishbowls.
In regard to the lattermost point regarding protection against oppressions, particularly domestic, the left sees a great potential for business owners to be oppressive to their workers. It is true that they call for government regulation of business in hopes of preventing such oppression, for they fear those with money will quickly lose moral judgment in pursuit of more capital. Government’s regulation of business for the protection of workers goes back to the abolition of slavery. I would certainly hope we can all agree that the federal government was justified in making laws deeming slavery illegal, and while it certainly impacted the profitability of slave owners, the rights of those workers were deserving of federal protection.
Going back to the overdeveloped sense of charity that “Liberals” are affected by, I see a great irony in the number of Christians who align themselves with the GOP from a moral standpoint. It seems to me that Jesus would have been in favor of doing all that was possible to clothe and feed the poor and heal the sick; that Jesus would not be in favor of preemptive military strikes; that Jesus would accept a homosexual as a person deserving of love and respect. From my understanding of Jesus’ actions, he demonstrated more “Liberal” qualities than conservative. He washed the feet of tax collectors, he made company with whores and beggars, he protected the adultress by inviting one without sin to cast the first stone, he espoused charity and urged his followers to do away with all their worldly possessions, he eschewed wealth; most importantly, he called on others to follow in his footsteps. These are virtues pursued by “Liberals” who are trying to protect their fellow man and the earth we all share. They are Christian in nature.
Speaking of protecting the earth, environmental laws do serve a purpose: they keep people from shitting upstream of others. Present bickering over climate change and pollution is not about a fascist takeover of the world, it is an attempt to define what constitutes shit, and where the boundaries of the stream are. Those downstream say “Stop shitting in my water supply” while those upstream say “Too bad, I can’t afford to build an outhouse.”
And then there’s perhaps the most divisive issue in all politics: abortion. It seems to me that the right’s stance on abortion has allowed all logic and reason to be swallowed by blind dogma that states no abortion should be allowed, ever, under any circumstance. Pro-choice does not entail the merciless slaughter of infants. If a woman were to be raped and impregnated, I think she should be entitled to an abortion and should not be forced to carry that baby to term. If pregnancy complications threaten the life of the mother of two, I think she should be able to have an abortion and save her life, for her two children and husband are better off with a mother and wife than a sibling / third child. If a father rapes and impregnates his daughter she should not be forced into a back-alley with a coat hanger in order to keep that child from entering the world. However, I do not think abortions should be used as a basic means of birth control, and late-term abortions should only be allowed in the event of a life-saving decision on the mother’s behalf. There can be a middle ground.
The right seems to have unwavering faith that businesses will be just and moral and need no regulations, but strives to regulate morality on the individual level. They claim the fascist left wants to re-form the constitution, but the right has its own changes it wants to make, such as a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. The heart of gay marriage really boils down to tax benefits and advantages gained from being able to file jointly; normally the right is all for lessening a tax burden, but not when it’s just for a couple of fags, I guess. Homosexuality is not new. It is neither created nor expanded by gay marriage. Two gay people getting married does absolutely nothing to affect the sanctity of my marriage. It is not an act of war on marriage, as many right-wing pundits claim. Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh have done more to deface the sanctity of marriage with their infidelity and multiple divorces than the two ladies who live together three houses down from me, yet Rush and Newt are idolized by a large faction of the right.
Then there’s waterboarding, which is another divisive topic between right and left. There are two angles to the argument: whether or not it is torture, and whether or not it is effective. I can’t speak to the first directly, but I do take credence in John McCain’s view that waterboarding is torture; here is a man who has truly been tortured, he has a valid perspective. I doubt waterboarding’s effectiveness as an interrogation technique. I bet if you waterboarded Dick Cheney or George Bush long enough you would get them to confess that 9/11 was an inside job (NOTE: I do not believe 9/11 was an inside job, I do believe people will say anything to stop being tortured).
I do not condone the voices of the far left. I am glad Keith Olbermann was fired from MSNBC and from Current. While I think Rush Limbaugh is a selfish man with very little moral value, I do not think he is the “Worst Person in the World” and think that by attempting to classify him as such, one downplays the truly horrible acts that occur every day. Likewise, to liken the left to a rising Nazi party belittles the horror of the Holocaust, and to associate the left with Nazism is to imply the left is trying to rise up to take over the world and engage in mass genocide—a Fourth Reich, so to speak—which is simply ludicrous. The left—who wants to feed and educate the poor, to heal the sick, to abolish the death penalty, to protect the environment—is not the party of death. They are more pro-life than many foes of abortion.
I’ll conclude by saying that while this rant was largely focused on the right, the left are equal in their use of deplorable tactics, and they also set party lines based on rigid dogma requiring unwavering support on all fronts. Both sides have a single, primary goal: to destroy the other party. There is no intent to fix, to heal, to reconcile. Both sides have adopted the stance that “it’s my way and fuck yourself while you’re at it.” Sadly, the majority of Americans, who are just trying to live day-to-day, will be the ones most affected by this fight, and not in a good way.
PS I won’t defriend you if you comment sharing a different viewpoint. I value the ability to debate issues in a rational manner.
#
Thursday, January 5, 2012
2012- A Year in Review
This is my review of 2012. That is not a typo. I am reviewing 2012. Everyone else is doing 2011 reviews, but those are so last year. I want to move forward, so I commandeered a time machine and I’m happy to report back to you the monthly highlights for the coming year:
January- Some snow falls in the US. This situation is used by many in the media as irrefutable proof that global warming is just some hippy’s pipe dream.
February- Some snow melts in the US. This situation is used by many in the media as irrefutable proof that global warming will soon kill us all.
March- March starts a day early because a glitch in iPads and iPhones fails to account for leap year. Things get all buggered up because two-thirds of our society cannot function without Apple products.
April- The polar ice caps melt. This is printed on the front page of newspapers nationwide, but readership and circulation is so low nobody actually notices.
May- Bloggers take to the Internet covering the story of the melting polar ice caps, but since blogging is dying a slow death nobody actually notices.
June- Kim Kardashian wears a pair of tight-fitting yoga pants with “The Ice Caps Melted” written across the ass. The world takes notice.
July- All summer Olympic water events are moved to the North Pole.
August- The Republican National Convention convenes in Tampa, Florida and a candidate is finally selected, ending the 436-month primary campaigns. The losers are cannibalized by the throng of blood-thirsty delegates. Those who were not already cannibalized earlier in the year, that is. (NOTE: Whatever you do, don't eat the Santorum dip.)
September- The presidential campaign is in full swing. Politicians on both sides compete for the biggest distortion of the truth on every minor issue. Pertinent issues are ignored.
October- SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THESE GODDAMNED ROBO-CALLS AND JUNK MAIL!
November- Proving the American people suck at voting, we elect a bunch of assholes who will bicker and fight and prioritize short-term political goals over the long-term stability of our country. Which doesn’t really matter, because…
December- BOOM! Turns out the Mayans were some smart m&^%#$@ers.
January- Some snow falls in the US. This situation is used by many in the media as irrefutable proof that global warming is just some hippy’s pipe dream.
February- Some snow melts in the US. This situation is used by many in the media as irrefutable proof that global warming will soon kill us all.
March- March starts a day early because a glitch in iPads and iPhones fails to account for leap year. Things get all buggered up because two-thirds of our society cannot function without Apple products.
April- The polar ice caps melt. This is printed on the front page of newspapers nationwide, but readership and circulation is so low nobody actually notices.
May- Bloggers take to the Internet covering the story of the melting polar ice caps, but since blogging is dying a slow death nobody actually notices.
June- Kim Kardashian wears a pair of tight-fitting yoga pants with “The Ice Caps Melted” written across the ass. The world takes notice.
July- All summer Olympic water events are moved to the North Pole.
August- The Republican National Convention convenes in Tampa, Florida and a candidate is finally selected, ending the 436-month primary campaigns. The losers are cannibalized by the throng of blood-thirsty delegates. Those who were not already cannibalized earlier in the year, that is. (NOTE: Whatever you do, don't eat the Santorum dip.)
September- The presidential campaign is in full swing. Politicians on both sides compete for the biggest distortion of the truth on every minor issue. Pertinent issues are ignored.
October- SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THESE GODDAMNED ROBO-CALLS AND JUNK MAIL!
November- Proving the American people suck at voting, we elect a bunch of assholes who will bicker and fight and prioritize short-term political goals over the long-term stability of our country. Which doesn’t really matter, because…
December- BOOM! Turns out the Mayans were some smart m&^%#$@ers.
#
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The New 10 Commandments
NOTE: This is a piece of satire. Mostly. But regardless, it's bound to offend some people. If you think you will be offended, please don't read this post. You have been warned. If you have a sense of humor and/or you are also a jaded cynic who is fed up with the way religion has been distorted by our political system, by all means, read on and share your thoughts.
I was reading political news this morning (a bad habit I am trying to quit), and I realized something:
Everything I learned in church was wrong.
I always thought the golden rule was "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" but that's so two-thousand years ago. I started taking notes and doing research today and came up with a new list of 10 commandments that reflect the Biblical virtues extolled by our politicians, pundits, and vast strings of chain emails:
1. Thou shalt not help the poor, for any reason, ever. They are all worthless, lazy leaches, and f@#% them anyway.
2. Thou shalt hate people from other countries and other religions, because f@#% them too. No more of this "Good Samaritan" crap.
3. Thou shalt not make any move to protect the birds, the flowers, or any other of God’s creations except your own damn self, because God will take care of them. Also because f@#% them.
4. Thou shalt hate all homosexuals, because fuc…wait a minute, no. F@#% them definitely doesn't apply here.
5. Thou shalt not have an abortion. Not even if thou art assaulted, battered, raped, and impregnated by a schizophrenic psychopath. The demon seed has a right to life. But if that schizophrenic psychopath also knocks over a convenience store, fry his ass.
6. Thou shalt not pay any taxes, ever. Especially if thou art a corporation.
7. If thou prayest the loudest and in front of the most people, thou art the most holy, and therefore the best able to translate the scripture into modern legislature.
8. Thou shalt be the richest motherf@#%er on the block with a pimped out ride and a million dollar crib, because that's what Jesus would do.
9. Thou shalt read the Bible often, only paying attention to short phrases that can be bent to your ever-changing political whim while ignoring the larger context of the book in whole.
And last but certainly not least, the most bi-partisan of all commandments:
10. Thou shalt lie thy ass off if it gets thou votes.
I'm so glad I have it figured out now. I think I'll live a much better life by following these principals. I hope they work just as well for you!
I was reading political news this morning (a bad habit I am trying to quit), and I realized something:
Everything I learned in church was wrong.
I always thought the golden rule was "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" but that's so two-thousand years ago. I started taking notes and doing research today and came up with a new list of 10 commandments that reflect the Biblical virtues extolled by our politicians, pundits, and vast strings of chain emails:
1. Thou shalt not help the poor, for any reason, ever. They are all worthless, lazy leaches, and f@#% them anyway.
2. Thou shalt hate people from other countries and other religions, because f@#% them too. No more of this "Good Samaritan" crap.
3. Thou shalt not make any move to protect the birds, the flowers, or any other of God’s creations except your own damn self, because God will take care of them. Also because f@#% them.
4. Thou shalt hate all homosexuals, because fuc…wait a minute, no. F@#% them definitely doesn't apply here.
5. Thou shalt not have an abortion. Not even if thou art assaulted, battered, raped, and impregnated by a schizophrenic psychopath. The demon seed has a right to life. But if that schizophrenic psychopath also knocks over a convenience store, fry his ass.
6. Thou shalt not pay any taxes, ever. Especially if thou art a corporation.
7. If thou prayest the loudest and in front of the most people, thou art the most holy, and therefore the best able to translate the scripture into modern legislature.
8. Thou shalt be the richest motherf@#%er on the block with a pimped out ride and a million dollar crib, because that's what Jesus would do.
9. Thou shalt read the Bible often, only paying attention to short phrases that can be bent to your ever-changing political whim while ignoring the larger context of the book in whole.
And last but certainly not least, the most bi-partisan of all commandments:
10. Thou shalt lie thy ass off if it gets thou votes.
I'm so glad I have it figured out now. I think I'll live a much better life by following these principals. I hope they work just as well for you!
#
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Next Bubble
Let’s talk about bubbles. Did you ever blow bubbles as a kid?
Well he’s back in town and he wants your new number (sorry, couldn’t resist).
But really, I have a point to make today about The Next Bubble. Before I get to it, however, I think we should review Bubbles Past…
The Dot.com Bubble rose in the late 90’s, when everyone with the foresight to incorporate, get a website, and write a business plan on a napkin could raise millions in an IPO. We saw that Bubble burst around the turn of the century, when people realized that the business plan was really wing sauce and the vast majority of the websites lacked cool things that were needed for long-term success, like customers.
Then the Real Estate Bubble rose when the banks started writing mortgages on discarded napkins left over from the Dot.com Bubble. It rose in conjunction with the Financial Bubble, where traders started packaging the napkins so that some stained with blazin’ sauce were bundled with napkins bearing mild sauce, and then they sold the mixed napkins as actual wings with medium sauce, and investors ordered them like they were manna from heaven. Nobody worried about heartburn. They spelled relief A-I-G.
Ha ha! You might say. Nobody is that dumb! And you would be wrong. Those bubbles also burst when the blazin’ sauce ripped the financial industry a new asshole. Which is kind of amazing considering it was pretty much all asshole to begin with. That, my friends, is a lot of rippin’.
We are close to the point of popping for The Next Bubble, and I for one can’t wait to see it go. So what is The Next Bubble?
Politics.
For over a decade I’ve been watching as the political discourse in this country became bloated with misinformation and hypocrisy. Sure, that’s just the nature of politics and it’s always been like that…but risk was also the nature of investing and lending, until it was taken too far, spawning an unnatural beast.
The Political Bubble rose as Republicans called foul on Democrats for doing things the Republicans themselves did a couple years before. The Democrats denounced every idea to originate from a Republican simply because it originated from a Republican, even if the idea had merit. Then they all gave themselves raises and went on recess.
Eventually the GOP started using churches to broadcast its message; I’m assuming that they did this because they couldn’t get any airtime on TV due to the liberal bias in the media. With politics on the pulpit the Religious Bubble started to grow, inflated because of the with-us-or-with-them rule that made it so easy to identify the bad guys (HINT: it’s them).
It has come to such a head – the distrust so great, the stink of the mud slung so foul – that political discourse in our country is now a caricature of itself. Really, US politics have jumped the shark.
The most recent evidence – not the first piece, and I know it won’t be the last – is Rush Limbaugh accusing the Obama administration of politicizing the disaster in Haiti. Limbaugh said, "this [earthquake] will play right into Obama's hands. He's humanitarian, compassionate. They'll use this to burnish their, shall we say, 'credibility' with the black community -- in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It's made-to-order for them."
Really. Tens of thousands of people dead, and he reduced a show of support to a made-to-order grab for street-cred. He couldn’t think for a second that they are sincerely trying to help people in desperate need.
Of course Obama has yet to actually politicize this, but that’s okay. Rush already did it for him, so now whatever Obama does will be political by default. Of course, Rush politicized his own heart attack, so can we really be surprised that he would stoop this low?
The problem is that many of Limbaugh’s listeners agree with him. Here is a transcript from his radio show last week:
Justin of Raleigh, North Carolina: "Why does Obama say if you want to donate some money, you could go to whitehouse.gov to direct you how to do so? If I wanted to donate to the Red Cross, why do I have to go to the White House page to donate?"
Limbaugh: "Exactly. Would you trust the money's gonna go to Haiti?"
Justin: "No."
Rush: "But would you trust that your name's gonna end up on a mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes?"
Justin: "Absolutely!"
Limbaugh: "Absolutely!"
So these two “absolutely” believe that if you donate to Haiti via the White House website, not only will they pocket your cash, but they will then proceed to SPAM you to death.
It is worth pointing out that at the time of the call transcribed above, Obama’s website linked directly to the Red Cross.
Of course the Left can’t let Rush have all the fun…I’ve read opinions denouncing George Bush’s efforts to help, too, just because he’s George Bush.
The Political Bubble is going to burst soon, mark my words. The Religious Bubble might burst in tandem with the Political Bubble, like the Real Estate and Financial Bubbles did. After all, Pat Robertson had to jump into the mix and claim that the earthquake was the result of a pact with the Devil made by Haitians hundreds of years ago. And you know what?
Some people believe him, too.
But I think the majority of Americans are reasonable, intelligent, responsible citizens. We’re just quiet. And one day we will take the microphone back, and you know what that will sound like?
*pop*
I can’t wait…
Well he’s back in town and he wants your new number (sorry, couldn’t resist).
But really, I have a point to make today about The Next Bubble. Before I get to it, however, I think we should review Bubbles Past…
The Dot.com Bubble rose in the late 90’s, when everyone with the foresight to incorporate, get a website, and write a business plan on a napkin could raise millions in an IPO. We saw that Bubble burst around the turn of the century, when people realized that the business plan was really wing sauce and the vast majority of the websites lacked cool things that were needed for long-term success, like customers.
Then the Real Estate Bubble rose when the banks started writing mortgages on discarded napkins left over from the Dot.com Bubble. It rose in conjunction with the Financial Bubble, where traders started packaging the napkins so that some stained with blazin’ sauce were bundled with napkins bearing mild sauce, and then they sold the mixed napkins as actual wings with medium sauce, and investors ordered them like they were manna from heaven. Nobody worried about heartburn. They spelled relief A-I-G.
Ha ha! You might say. Nobody is that dumb! And you would be wrong. Those bubbles also burst when the blazin’ sauce ripped the financial industry a new asshole. Which is kind of amazing considering it was pretty much all asshole to begin with. That, my friends, is a lot of rippin’.
We are close to the point of popping for The Next Bubble, and I for one can’t wait to see it go. So what is The Next Bubble?
Politics.
For over a decade I’ve been watching as the political discourse in this country became bloated with misinformation and hypocrisy. Sure, that’s just the nature of politics and it’s always been like that…but risk was also the nature of investing and lending, until it was taken too far, spawning an unnatural beast.
The Political Bubble rose as Republicans called foul on Democrats for doing things the Republicans themselves did a couple years before. The Democrats denounced every idea to originate from a Republican simply because it originated from a Republican, even if the idea had merit. Then they all gave themselves raises and went on recess.
Eventually the GOP started using churches to broadcast its message; I’m assuming that they did this because they couldn’t get any airtime on TV due to the liberal bias in the media. With politics on the pulpit the Religious Bubble started to grow, inflated because of the with-us-or-with-them rule that made it so easy to identify the bad guys (HINT: it’s them).
It has come to such a head – the distrust so great, the stink of the mud slung so foul – that political discourse in our country is now a caricature of itself. Really, US politics have jumped the shark.
The most recent evidence – not the first piece, and I know it won’t be the last – is Rush Limbaugh accusing the Obama administration of politicizing the disaster in Haiti. Limbaugh said, "this [earthquake] will play right into Obama's hands. He's humanitarian, compassionate. They'll use this to burnish their, shall we say, 'credibility' with the black community -- in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It's made-to-order for them."
Really. Tens of thousands of people dead, and he reduced a show of support to a made-to-order grab for street-cred. He couldn’t think for a second that they are sincerely trying to help people in desperate need.
Of course Obama has yet to actually politicize this, but that’s okay. Rush already did it for him, so now whatever Obama does will be political by default. Of course, Rush politicized his own heart attack, so can we really be surprised that he would stoop this low?
The problem is that many of Limbaugh’s listeners agree with him. Here is a transcript from his radio show last week:
Justin of Raleigh, North Carolina: "Why does Obama say if you want to donate some money, you could go to whitehouse.gov to direct you how to do so? If I wanted to donate to the Red Cross, why do I have to go to the White House page to donate?"
Limbaugh: "Exactly. Would you trust the money's gonna go to Haiti?"
Justin: "No."
Rush: "But would you trust that your name's gonna end up on a mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes?"
Justin: "Absolutely!"
Limbaugh: "Absolutely!"
So these two “absolutely” believe that if you donate to Haiti via the White House website, not only will they pocket your cash, but they will then proceed to SPAM you to death.
It is worth pointing out that at the time of the call transcribed above, Obama’s website linked directly to the Red Cross.
Of course the Left can’t let Rush have all the fun…I’ve read opinions denouncing George Bush’s efforts to help, too, just because he’s George Bush.
The Political Bubble is going to burst soon, mark my words. The Religious Bubble might burst in tandem with the Political Bubble, like the Real Estate and Financial Bubbles did. After all, Pat Robertson had to jump into the mix and claim that the earthquake was the result of a pact with the Devil made by Haitians hundreds of years ago. And you know what?
Some people believe him, too.
But I think the majority of Americans are reasonable, intelligent, responsible citizens. We’re just quiet. And one day we will take the microphone back, and you know what that will sound like?
*pop*
I can’t wait…
Friday, September 4, 2009
Are We F#$@ing Crazy?
I just read a news report that there is some kind of national frenzy over a planned speech by President Obama to our nation's schoolchildren next week.
Apparently there is fear that he will indoctrinate the children of this great country to his socialist agenda. Someone must have found a copy of the speech, and it must go something like this:
"Good morning children. I am your President, but you can call me Supreme Leader. Starting immediately I want you, the children of the nation, to start a communal sharing of all of your worldly goods. At lunch time, you will be asked to place your lunchbox in the center of the cafeteria and government workers will distribute the food equally among you all. You will be checked each day for money, and any cash found on your person will be confiscated, taxed, and the redistributed to the whole student body. Then we will give you all abortions and kill your grandparents in death panels. Go put on your new Red school uniforms and remember that disobedience means death in a labor camp."
This is especially dangerous in public schools, which are effectively socialist institutions already (socialized education), so the last thing those children need is self-realization of this fact, because then they will be able to skip school every day out of basic patriotic duty.
On the other hand, he might just encourage them to study hard. That in and of itself may be OK, but I'm not risking the chance that he'll turn our kids into little fetus-killing socialists in 20 minutes flat. That is his goal, you know.
Apparently there is fear that he will indoctrinate the children of this great country to his socialist agenda. Someone must have found a copy of the speech, and it must go something like this:
"Good morning children. I am your President, but you can call me Supreme Leader. Starting immediately I want you, the children of the nation, to start a communal sharing of all of your worldly goods. At lunch time, you will be asked to place your lunchbox in the center of the cafeteria and government workers will distribute the food equally among you all. You will be checked each day for money, and any cash found on your person will be confiscated, taxed, and the redistributed to the whole student body. Then we will give you all abortions and kill your grandparents in death panels. Go put on your new Red school uniforms and remember that disobedience means death in a labor camp."
This is especially dangerous in public schools, which are effectively socialist institutions already (socialized education), so the last thing those children need is self-realization of this fact, because then they will be able to skip school every day out of basic patriotic duty.
On the other hand, he might just encourage them to study hard. That in and of itself may be OK, but I'm not risking the chance that he'll turn our kids into little fetus-killing socialists in 20 minutes flat. That is his goal, you know.
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