The two Ghost Hunters went down to the basement with a flashlight and a voice recorder. The flashlight was a big industrial job, the kind with the large square battery that, being a guy, I should probably be able to describe in more detail. The voice recorder came from a Hot Wheels playset.
After a couple minutes they came back upstairs and called out to their younger siblings, who came running. The Ghost Hunters pressed play. The sound of static came from the recorder, then knocking.
"Do you hear that?" the Ghost Hunters asked.
"Yes!" The younger kids could hardly contain their excitement. I almost expected to find pee puddles on the floor.
"That's a ghost," the Ghost Hunters said with authority. "You stay here," they cautioned the younger kids and then took their equipment back down to the basement.
When they returned, the youngsters gathered round and listened to the new recording. The ever-present static was followed by knocking again, then a voice. "Get out of my house," it said.
The giggles that followed told tale of excitement laced with fear. The younger kids waited while the Ghost Hunters descended to the basement one more time, again coming up with a new recording of static, knocking, and voices. This time the message was, "Get out of my house or I will kill you."
This was my cue to take action, because that's the kind of father I am. After all, it disrupts my sleep when the kids come into our bedroom in the middle of the night to tell their mom they had a nightmare.
The Ghost Hunters were already preparing for another mission. "Let's go in here this time," they said, opening the pantry door.
"That's fine. Just don't go in the Bat Cave. You might not ever come out," I said, because that's the kind of father I am. (NOTE: The Bat Cave is the closet under the stairs.)
Undaunted by the chance they could disappear forever, the Ghost Hunters abandoned the pantry and walked to the Bat Cave. They opened the door. I got off the couch and quietly walked over to the wall. On the other side of the wall was the interior of the Bat Cave, and inside it, the Ghost Hunters. I heard the door close. Then I banged like hell on the wall, loud and fast.
The door opened so fast a sonic boom shook the house and the Ghost Hunters came out in a blur. The screams were incredible. I laughed so hard I again felt the need to check the floor for pee puddles.
I haven't seen or heard a ghost since.