Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Headline of the Day

An inquisitive journalist wonders:

"What Caused Thousands Of Dead Birds To Fall From The Sky?"

The short answer:


You see, suspending dead birds in the sky is rather difficult, since dead birds can't flap their wings (NOTE: flapping is a very important part of flying, so I am told.).  So when there are thousands of dead birds in the sky, they will fall like Newton's apple.

It's like the old joke: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?  Because it was dead.

Let me know if I can answer any other questions.  I'm here to help.

Happy New Year!


Laurel said...

That totally clears things up! Thanks, Rick. You should let all those "scientists" know the mystery is solved.

Also, those are my very favorite sorts of headlines.

Rick Daley said...

I just call 'em as I see 'em.

I think the scientists are working on the more perplexing issue of "What killed the birds" whereas the journalists are the ones with the difficult grasp on why dead birds don't fly/float.

And if you like this type of headline fun, check out www.fark.com...user-submitted headlines to real news articles.

Eric said...

LOL, what are you talking about? You mean dead birds don't hover? And here I thought they had an anti-gravity belt of something.

Dang, another myth busted.

Rick Daley said...

Eric- Next I'm going to revisit the myth of swallows who can carry coconuts.

L. T. Host said...

That darn gravity. Been messing things up since the 1700s. Life was so much simpler without it. And don't even get me started on what it was like when the Earth was flat!

Susan Kaye Quinn said...

LOL And BTW, Happy New Year! ;)

Rick Daley said...

Thanks Sue, you too!

Jenny said...

Rick-it's the African swallow that can carry coconuts, right?

I concur that the journalists don't seem to get this one. I've watched two news bits this morning alone where the scientists look straight at the anchors/camera lens, shrug their shoulders, and say "Hey, it happens. We'll let you know when we figure it out."

I'm with L.T. This gravity thing has morphed into a tricky business.

Rick Daley said...

Oh yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.