I can't take it. The high-pitched screams. The pounding. The inability to speak.
Of course I'm talking about the new season of American Idol.
It was awful. Randy had no viable input. He's the show veteran, but he seemed more interested in watching his new judges react than judging an audition himself. His motto seemed to be, "Whatever you two think, I guess."
For several candidates, Steven Tyler screamed along and pounded on the table. Kara used to groove sometimes, and Paula danced on occasion, but they never overshadowed an audition the way Steven Tyler did, where the kids auditioning were demoted to his back-up performers. At least Mr. Tyler didn't stand up and grab his crotch, or if he did the producers mercifully edited that out.
Jennifer, "OMG I can't say no!" Lopez (hereafter to be called J-No) needs to develop another reaction to an audition. Watching her judge contestants is like watching Adam Richman take a bite of anything on Man vs. Food (NOTE: he only has one reaction after his first bite of food, which is chew once, close eyes, roll head, and simulate an orgasm, even to the point where he says "Oh my God!").
There was no honesty in the feedback. Everyone wants to be the nice one, but in reality each one is just lame, and the level of lameness grows exponentially when combined as a group. Now I'm not asking for someone to act like a Simon clone, or to go all Ricky Gervais on each contestant, but someone must have the guts to be honest.
The thing I miss most is Simon's dramatic pause, though.
"You just sucked," he would say, and then pause for effect, making you wonder if he was finished, before continuing with, "the life out of that song."
On Wednesday we watched the first half of American Idol as a family, and when the kids went to bed, my wife and I switched to Modern Family. On Thursday I had DVR set for AI, The Big Bang Theory, and Wipeout. Problem is, I can only record/watch two out of the three. Sorry, new AI, we recorded Big Bang, and watched Wipeout.
You were voted out.