Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Angel of Death

My son was visited by the Angel of Death last week.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that Rick Daley can be funny sometimes, and right now he's grasping at straws for material. That may be the case, but it doesn't negate the truth of the statement. My seven-year-old son was visited by the Angel of Death last week. Luckily he marked his door with lamb's blood so he survived the incident.

The AoD visited him at Bible school. Now regular followers of this blog may ask, "What the hell was your son doing at Bible school? Aren't you the one who's writing a blasphemous novel about God coming down to earth and hiring a consultant to help Him figure out how to destroy the world?"

In regard to the latter part of your question, yes, but I consider it funny, not blasphemous. My God has a great sense of humor and appreciates my efforts. But as to the first part, I am not opposed to my children being exposed to different religions and cultures. They need to learn about them at some point. However, the specifics of the subject matter can sometimes be called into question.

After he got back from Bible school last Wednesday, he told us that he didn't like it. We asked what he didn't like.

"Well, at first they told us all about Jesus, and that was kind of interesting..." He started, but we could tell he was holding back.

"What else did you do?"

"We had to go into this room where there were all these houses. And we had to paint marks on the doors with lamb's blood and go inside. Then there were loud noises outside, they said it was the Angel of Death. As along as we painted our doors with lamb's blood we would be alright, but if we didn't then we would die."

"Wow," I said, and I meant every word.

"That was just weird," he confided.

I couldn't agree more.

He didn't want to go back and we didn't make him. For all I know he missed out on a re-enactment of the time David had to kill 100 Philistines AND collect their foreskins for Saul. Or the time Lot's two daughters got him drunk and had sex with him. Yep, some parts of the Bible aren't written for children.


Scott said...

OMG! This is too dang funny. Thanks, I needed a good laugh today! I must share this with my sister. Too funny.


Not The Rockefellers said...

Angel of Death..worst knock-knock joke...EVER :)

Peace - Rene

Lady Glamis said...

They reenacted that???? I'm still in disbelief. I wouldn't let him go back even if he wanted to!

Rick Daley said...

Scott- The funniest part is that it's true. Oddly enough, that's also the saddest part. Go figure.

Rene- That's also the shortest knock-knock joke!

Michelle- I'm glad I survived your your blog cut!

Davin Malasarn said...

Ha! I can't believe that. But, I admit that now I want to play angel of death too. Maybe my roommate will be willing to cooperate.

Rick Daley said...

Davin- As I understand it they had creepy sound effects too. Don't forget that, it really adds to the effect. Will you let your roommate paint your door with lamb's blood?

PurpleClover said...


And I mean every word.


Laurel said...

Ah. I well remember these tender moments from my own VBS days. At the age of 8 I was schooled in graphic terms by my Sunday School teacher EXACTLY what Christ Jesus had suffered to redeem me...every stroke of the cat'o'nine tails, crown of thorns, vinegar for thirst, nails in the forearms because we know that they would not have supported his weight through his hands. Oh, yeah, and a little shelf below his feet so he could keep from drowning in his own fluid for a little longer. EIGHT YEARS OLD. I was horrified.

These are the same people who get rabid over "age appropriate" labels for music and literature.

Now, you know I'm a believer and all, but really. Can't we use a modicum of common sense?

Rick Daley said...


-These are the same people who get rabid over "age appropriate" labels for music and literature.

You hit the nail on the head with that observation! I've heard some pretty outlandish gangsta rap (not regularly, I'm a classic rock guy by nature), but I never heard no gangsta callin for the foreskins of a hundred cops.

Charlie said...

Personally, I would've been interested in the crucifixion reenactment. "Okay class, who wants to be baby Jesus?"

Vodka Mom said...

oh sweet jesus.


Kristi said...

That is actually scary - my parents made me go to VBS as a child but all I can recall is a song about a hippo (unless I made it up to block out the trauma :) Have you seen the documentary Jesus Camp? It's on my Netflix list and I've heard it's a movie that's full of experiences like the one your son experienced.

Good for you for exposing him to different religious concepts - we're doing the same with our kids (which is difficult, considering I wouldn't be surprised to see some of our evangelical family members in the Jesus movie).

Scott said...

Ricky getin more love from Nathan! You go, stud!!

Lady Glamis said...

Congrats on your post pick by Nathan!

Michelle McLean said...

Wow indeed.

And congrats on your pick for Nathan's blog!!

Rick Daley said...

Thanks Scott and Michelle(s). I wrote up a custom post for my guest blog entry, I hope the crowd will appreciate it when it goes up next Friday!

storyqueen said...

Still can't wrap my brain around's like a cross between a SNL skit and....well, I don't know what.



Suzette Saxton said...

Um... wow! That's intense. Glad he survived. :)