Thursday, March 12, 2009

Peek between the sheets, I want to show you something...

Whose sheets? You may ask. Well, I’ll tell you. My seven year old son, that’s who.

I was getting his bed ready the other night. I pulled back the comforter to find the sheets and instead I found:

· A box of tissues
· A little monkey flashlight
· A plastic bug
· A piggy bank. Actually it’s a treasure chest, but whatever. It has cash in it.
· A box of tissues
· A stuffed monkey. Not a real monkey, a toy one.
· A horse’s head. No, wait. That was in the Godfather.
· The Moon Dude. It’s a little plastic snail, it used to whistle like a dog toy when you squeezed it. When my son was four we used to get in the fort on our old swingset and pretend we were in a rocket to the moon. We met this Moon Dude there and fed him moon rocks.
· An iPet (small plastic bobble-head lookin’ thing).
· A small stuffed dog with Christmas crap on.
· Pirate Scooby Doo. Yes, you read that right.
· A Max & Erma dog
· Another Max & Erma dog
· A third Max & Erma dog. Several years ago we went to a Pets Without Parents charity event. They gave these little stuffed animals away to the kids. One per kid, in most cases, but somehow my boy got his hands on three of them and refused to let any of them go. I’m no psychic, but I could tell a tantrum of epic proportions was in the near future. They say “choose your battles” and we did. And he has three of these little f$@&ing dogs.
· A Mickey Mouse
· I m not even halfway done here
· Another box of tissues
· A Snoopy
· A heart shaped earth that says “Save Me” on it
· A little cheetah thing. Or some stuffed spotted cat-like animal.
· A stuffed frog.
· Spiderman (what seven year old boy’s bed is complete without one?)
· Another Snoopy
· A random small stuffed dog
· Batman. No Robin, because that would be gay.
o NOTE: I have absolutely nothing against gay people. Or Robin, for that matter. I’m just an unrestrained smart ass, and I call ‘em as I see ‘em. We cool?
· Marley, a small stuffed white tiger named after one of our old cats.
· Mickey, a small stuffed orange tiger named after the other of our old cats.
· Kitty Frog, his Webkinz toy that is a leopard-print frog.
· Another random stuffed dog
· A chick (a baby chicken, not a hottie). It’s hard plastic with feathers glued to it.
· Another chick, but this one chirps if you touch both electrodes on its feet
· Razmataz, my other son’s Webkinz toy. He’s a little pug puppy.
· And, of course, his blankey.



Litgirl01 said...

Wow! Do you think he might be a hoarder when he grows up? I'll alert Oprah! :P

Rick Daley said...

We have to be very sneaky when disposing of broken toys. He gets quite attached.

He doesn't play with any of them. He just...wants them.

Crimogenic said...

Rick! That's all children. My younger brother like that. He didn't want to let go of any of his broken toys.

Anita said...

Under my kids' beds is even worst. I'm not cleaning under there until they leave for college. Then I'm renting a dumpster.

Captain Hook said...

Yeah, Rick. I know the feeling. I saw 5 kids through that stage, and where they entually move it from in the bed to under it, it never stops completely.

Rick Daley said...

Hi Captain. Are you related to Crunch ;-)

For the time being they have bunk beds, and there are drawers under the bottom bunk, so that's off radar.

But they make do. Aside from the stuff they leave in the bed, they tend to leave everything else everywhere else...

Lady Glamis said...

Oh my goodness! I was chuckling the whole way through. My two and a half year old hasn't started hoarding things yet.... yet. I'm waiting. *gulp*

Davin Malasarn said...

That's a LOT of stuff! You might be raising a future packrat.

T. Anne said...

Fun at bedtime! welcome to my world ;)

PurpleClover said...

My son has to have every toy in the house in his crib at bedtime...then in the morning he dumps them out one by one on the floor while he "beckons" me from my great slumber. Finally when I stumble groggily into his room and take him out of the crib, he thinks its fun to help me put them back. However, since he can't reach I have to do it. This is all pre-coffee mind you.

Rick Daley said...


This is a defining characteristic between most men and women: most men will leave that mess until after coffee. Actually, we will likely leave it until the child has grown to the size to either not want the toys anymore, or the child can put them in the crib itself. Most women have that inexplicable compulsive obligation to clean immediately.