I hold the remote in the palm of my hand
On cable I hear my favorite band
I click on the guide to see what is in store
As I surf through the channels, there’s endlessly more
Movies and music, shows about games
Actors and actresses, who knows all their names?
What’s this now, politics? What crap, flip on past!
I can’t stand that garbage, must get away fast.
The news? If you dare call it that, you’re a chump.
For there’s nothing new, it is all just a dump
Of the same tired stories they played all last week
With facts so distorted I can hardly speak
I like DVR, it’s my favorite companion
It fills up the void, it crosses the canyon
Between channels I like and all of the rest
The shows stored in there are simply the best
So I hold the remote, and my thumb is there, poised
To fast forward beyond the commercials and noise
I watch what I like, and I like what I watch
As I sit here just sipping my single-malt Scotch.