Friday, February 27, 2009

The Worst Martini in the World

Last night I ate dinner under the awning of some random restaurant on South Beach (they all look the same). The food was quite good (curry chicken), but I drank the worst martini in the world, followed by with the second worst martini in the world. They had a special, half off your second drink. That was why we stopped there. We should have been able to figure out that giving away drinks meant they sucked.

This is what I ordered the first time:

- A vodka martini, dirty.

This is what I got:

- A glass of sweet vermouth with a splash of vodka and two olives. And when I say a splash of vodka, I'm giving them the benefit of doubt because that may have been 100% vermouth by the way it tasted.

This is what I ordered the second time:

- A very dry vodka martini, dirty. Put a splash of olive brine in it.

This is what I got:

- A glass of dry vermouth with a splash of vodka and two olives.

I don't know if you've ever tasted straight vermouth (sweet or dry), and if you haven't, don't. A martini should be primarily vodka, and a splash of vermouth. A small splash. For a dry martini, many people will put some vermouth in the glass, swirl it around, and then dump it out, so the liquid that clings to the wall is all that flavors your drink. A dirty martini has olives, but should also have a small splash of olive brine in it to make it taste like olives.

I seriously doubt the bartender for that restaurant reads my blog, which is unfortunate for the next poor schmuck that goes there and orders a martini.


Crimogenic said...

I went to Miami a little over a year ago, but i don't remember the restaurants being good for drinks.

ouch, your drinks sound absolutely horrible :( Next time, give them the recipe for the martini and ask if they need you to show them how to make it :)

Davin Malasarn said...

You don't need the bartender to read your blog. You just need all the poor schmucks to read your blog.



Vodka Mom said...

jesus, get your ass over here. Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here???

Vodka Mom said...

AND, the teacher says you got two out of three today- you forgot the damn semi-colon. Ya couldn't work it in????

Real Live Lesbian said...

I thought you were just supposed to show the vermouth bottle to the martini....

perhaps I was taught by the alkahawlics. ;)

Rick Daley said...

Vodka Mom,
Of course you have to do everything, you are a mom. It comes with the title, didn't you know that?

Real Live Lesbian,
That's my kind of Martini. Don't regret your upbringing, and always remember: rehab is for quitters.

Lady Glamis said...

Aww, yuck! I don't drink, so I have no idea what a martini tastes like. I think I'd like the olives, though. :)

Sorry about a bad experience. The chicken sounds good!